Tragedy Is What Happens To Me; Comedy

Humor Is Just Another Defense Against The Universe.

When We Got To Our Hotel Rooms, Mosquitoes As Big As George Foreman Were Waiting For Us. They Were Sitting In Armchairs With Their Legs Crossed.

My Job Is To Go Out And Entertain The Most People Possible. The Job Is To Make People Laugh. I Don't Have A Mission. I Don't Have A Torch To Burn.

You Want Me To Admit I'm A Four-foot, Six-inch Freckle-faced Person Of Jewish Extraction? I Admit It. All But The Extraction. But Being Short Never Bothered Me For Three Seconds. The Rest Of The Time I Wanted To Commit Suicide.

When I'm Writing A Script, I Don't Worry About Plot As Much As I Do About People. I Get To Know The Main Characters - What They Need, What They Want, What They Should Do. That's What Gets The Story Going. You Can't Just Have Action, You've Got To Find Out What The Characters Want. And Then They Must Grow, They Must Go Somewhere.