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My Parents Always Told Me I Could Do Anything, But Never Told Me How Long It Would Take

If I Say A Joke And The Audience Laughs It Makes Me Feel Good.

All Men Are Afraid Of Eyelash Curlers. They Don't Understand Them, And They Don't Want To Get Near Them. I Sleep With One Under My Pillow, Instead Of A Gun.

Men Are Sensitive In Strange Ways. If A Man Has Built A Fire And The Last Log Does Not Burn, He Will Take It Personally.

Marrying A Divorced Man Is Ecologically Responsible; In A World Where There Are More Women Than Men, It Pays To Recycle.