You Can Name Your Own Salary In

I Drink Too Much, Way Too Much; My Doctor Drew Blood He Ran A Tab!

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Played Hide-and-seek. They Wouldn't Even Look For Me.

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.

When I Was Born ... The Doctor Came Out To The Waiting Room And Said To My Father ... I'm Very Sorry. We Did Everything We Could ... But He Pulled Through.

I'm At The Age Where Food Has Taken The Place Of Sex In My Life. In Fact, I've Just Had A Mirror Put Over My Kitchen Table.