You Cannot Win A War On Terrorism.

If You Wanna Find Out 101 Things To Do With Plums, Heh, Read Your In-flight Magazine.

High Times Magazine Is A Notch Intellectually Below Highlights For Children. I Mean, They're Both Great To Read When You're Baked, But Come On, Ya Know.

It's A Lot Of Anti-gay, Racist Humor—which People Like In America—all Couched In 'i'm Telling It Like It Is.' He's In The Right Place At The Right Time For That Gee-shucks, Proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel-selling-ring-tones Act. That's Where We Are As A Nation Now. We're In A State Of Vague American Values And Anti-intellectual Pride.

The Bible Is The Funniest Book I Have Ever Read. It's So Funny! Right In The First Six Pages, It's Funny!

What Happened To Our Friendship? I Really Think It's Our Obligation As Friends To Be Brutally Honest And Be Frank With Them And Say, 'look, I'm Sorry, But Your Baby Is Fking Boring.'