You Know It's Time To Start Using

I Said To My Husband, 'why Don't You Call Out My Name When We're Making Love?' He Said, 'i Don't Want To Wake You Up.'

The People Voting For The Oscars Are So Old. I Haven't Seen One Academy Award Voter With A Tampon In Her Purse.

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.

If I Found Yoko Ono Floating In My Pool, I'd Punish My Dog.

I've Learned From Doing My Own Show With Fox That People Are Not Your Partners If They're Signing The Checks. Whoever Signs Your Paycheck Is The Boss - No Matter What They Tell You.