You Might Be A Redneck If You

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite Christmas Present Was A Painting On Black Velvet.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Hood And One Door Are A Different Color From The Rest Of Your Car.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Started A Petition To Change The National Anthem To Georgia On My Mind.

You Might Be A Redneck If In An Effort To Watch Your Cholesterol, You Eat Spam Lite.

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.