You Might Be A Redneck If Your

Being A Comedian, People Tell Me Stuff They Shouldn't Tell Their Therapist.

We Sing About God Because We Believe In Him. We Are Not Trying To Offend Anybody, But The Evidence That We Have Seen Of Him In Our Small Little Lives Trumps Your Opinion About Whether Or Not He Exists.

You Take A Normal Guy, Give Him A Wife, Give Them Time, And You've Got An Idiot!

The More Excited The Rooster Gets, The Higher His Voice Goes. He's Got A Little Bit Of A Barney Fife Quality To Him.

Talking With Gary Busey Is Kinda Like Sex. You Want To Do It, You Just Don't Want To Be Alone When You Do It.