All Publicity Is Good, Except An Obituary

If You Accept Your Limitations You Go Beyond Them.

An Author's First Duty Is To Let Down His Country.

I Have A Total Irreverence For Anything Connected With Society Except That Which Makes The Roads Safer, The Beer Stronger, The Food Cheaper And The Old Men And Old Women Warmer In The Winter And Happier In The Summer.

Every Cripple Has His Own Way Of Walking.

I Was Court-martialled In My Absence, And Sentenced To Death In My Absence, So I Said They Could Shoot Me In My Absence.