Doctor Told Me I've Got Two Weeks

The Council In Blackpool Have Given The Homeless Bus Passes, But How Would They Know Where To Get Off?

Someone Threw A Petrol Bomb At Alex Higgins Once And He Drank It!

This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten, Sober.

So I Rang Up British Telecom, I Said 'i Want To Report A Nuisance Caller', He Said 'not You Again'.

A Girl Asks Her Doctor, "doctor, I've Forgotten To Take My Contradictory Pill!" The Doctor Says: "are You Ignorant?" The Girl Says: "yes, Three Months!"