Don't Vote, It Only Encourages Them.

It's My Mind, And I Reserve The Right To Change It As Often As I Like.

I Decided To Stop Drinking While It Was Still My Idea.

Don't Die Until You're Dead.

I've Always Been Fascinated By The Difference Between The Jokes You Can Tell Your Friends But You Can't Tell To An Audience. There's A Fine Line You Have To Tread Because You Don't Know Who Is Out There In The Auditorium. A Lot Of People Are Too Easily Offended.

Now, The Country Is In A Terrible State, And You've Blamed It On A Number Of Things: Unemployment Rate, The Value Of The Pound And All That... Wrll, It's Because The National Anthem Is Boring.