Give Me Golf Clubs, Fresh Air And

When I Give Concerts, The Tickets Sell For Five Dollars To One Hundred Dollars, But For My Concerts The Five-dollar Seats Are Down In Front... The Further Back You Go, The More You Have To Pay. The Hundred Dollar Seats Are The Last Two Rows, And Those Tickets Go Like Hotcakes! In Fact, If You Pay Two Hundred Dollars You Don't Have To Come At All.

Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

I Don't Deserve This Award, But I Have Arthritis And I Don't Deserve That Either.

A Rich Man Is One Who Isn't Afraid To Ask The Salesperson To Show Him Something Cheaper.

Modesty Is My Best Quality.