I Ate One Anchovy, And That Is

I Wear A Necklace, Cause I Wanna Know When I'm Upside Down.

People Ask Me For My Autograph After A Show. I'm Not Famous, I Think They're Messing With Me. I Think They're Trying To Make Me Late For Something.

I Walked By A Dry Cleaner At 3 Am, And There Was A Sign: "sorry, We're Closed" You Don't Have To Be Sorry, It's 3 Am, And You're A Dry Cleaner! It Would Be Ridiculous For Me To Expect You To Be Open! I'm Not Gonna Walk In At 10 Am And Say "i Walked By Here At 3 And You Were Closed - Somebody Owes Me An Apology!"

Advil Has A Candy Coating. It's Delicious. Then It Says On The Bottle, Do Not Have More Than Two. Then Why Do They Have A Candy Coating? I Cannot Help Myself. Let Me Have Ten Advil, I Have A Sweet Tooth.

I Have A Friend Who Is A Juggler. If I'm At His House, I Don't Like To Take Food From Him, If It's In Threes. He Has Three Apples Left, I Guess I Can't Have One. I Wouldn't Want To Screw Up His Practice Routine.