I Burned Sixty Calories. That Should Take

Nobody Is Really Happy With What's On Their Head. People With Straight Hair Want Curly, People With Curly Want Straight, And Bald People Want Everyone To Be Blind.

Most Men Are Secretly Still Mad At Their Mothers For Throwing Away Their Comic Books. They Would Be Valuable Now.

I Don't Want To Push The Envelope. Let The Envelope Stay In The Middle Of The Table. I'll Just Make You Laugh.

My Mother Was The Worst Cook Ever. In School, When We Traded Lunches, I Had To Throw In An Article Of Clothing.

I Loved My Mother Very Much, But She Was Not A Good Cook. Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before. In Our House Thanksgiving Was A Time For Sorrow.