My Mother Was The Worst Cook Ever.

My Mother Is Such A Lousy Cook That Thanksgiving At Her House Is A Time Of Sorrow.

If I Say A Joke And The Audience Laughs It Makes Me Feel Good.

I Get A Lot Of Return Business. I Think It's All Those Years I Put In Traveling Around The Country; People Saw Me Before And Had A Good Time So They Want To See Me Again.

The Older Theory Was, Marry An Older Man Because They're More Mature. But The New Theory Is Men Don't Mature. Marry A Younger One.

Men Reach Their Sexual Peak At Eighteen. Women Reach Theirs At Thirty-five. Do You Get The Feeling That God Is Playing A Practical Joke?