I'd Have To Be Superman To Do

Me And A Mate Picked Up Two Darling Birds And They Took Us Back To Their Flat. I Went Into The Bedroom With My Bird And She Started Getting Undressed. I Was That Drunk I Was Standing There Wondering How To Get Undressed Without Letting Go Of The Award. I Went To Sit On The Bed, Missed It By Four Feet And Ended Up Lying On The Floor. I Remember The Bird Looking Down At Me, And Saying, ‘some Player Of The Year.’ Then I Fell Asleep. I Woke Up Still Clutching My Award And Staggered Out Of The Flat. I Hadn’t A Bloody Clue Where I Was.

I'd Give All The Champagne I've Ever Drunk To Be Playing Alongside Him In A Big European Match At Old Trafford.

There Isn't A Single Player I Would Pay To Watch. A Great Entertainer Needs To Have Charisma.

Cristiano Ronaldo's Was The Most Exciting Debut I've Ever Seen. There Have Been A Few Players Described As 'the New George Best' Over The Years, But This Is The First Time It's Been A Compliment To Me.

Don't Die Like I Did.