I Do Not Participate In Any Sport

Some Say Our National Pastime Is Baseball. Not Me. It's Gossip.

I Became Hysterical And Frightened And Begged For Sedation. And That Was Just The First Prenatal Visit.

Getting Out Of The Hospital Is A Lot Like Resigning From A Book Club. You're Not Out Of It Until The Computer Says You're Out Of It.

God Created Man, But I Could Do Better.

Enter My First Neighbor - A Woman Who Spoke In Complete, Coherent Sentences, Who Ate With A Knife And Fork And Who Only Cried At Weddings. I Couldn't Help Myself. In A Dramatic Gesture, I Bolted The Door And Threw My Body Across It To Prevent Her Exit. She Understood.