I Don't Know If I Was Put

Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples... You Don't Have To Shout Into Them!

A Computer Once Beat Me At Chess, But It Was No Match For Me At Kick Boxing.

I Go From Stool To Stool In Singles Bars Hoping To Get Lucky, But There's Never Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary Friend.

Women: You Can't Live With Them, And You Can't Get Them To Dress Up In A Skimpy Little Nazi Costume And Beat You With A Warm Squash Or Something.