I Drank Some Boiling Water Because I

There's A Guy In The Audience With A Distinctive Laugh. I Hope That Guy Is Miked. The Only Problem With Having A Distinctive Laugh Is I Know Exactly When That Guy Isn't Laughing. "oh, Distinctive Laugh Doesn't Think That Joke Was Funny!"

I Think Foosball Is A Combination Of Soccer And Shish Kabobs.

I Went To The Store And Bought Eight Apples; The Clerk Said, "do You Want These In A Bag?" I Said, "oh, No, Man, I Juggle."

I Thought My Teeth Were White Until I Washed My Face With Noxzema. My Teeth Are Off-white. I'm Not Even White. I'm Off-white. It's A New Race; We Will Prevail!

This Shirt Is "dry-clean Only"... Which Means It's Dirty.