Golf And Dating Don't Mix.

I Couldn't Be Happier That President Bush Has Stood Up For Having Served In The National Guard, Because I Can Finally Put An End To All Those Who Questioned My Motives For Enlisting In The Army Reserve At The Height Of The Vietnam War.

I Couldn't Walk Up To A Woman At A Bar And Say Hello.

I've Been In Therapy. I Know Enough About Myself Now To Know That I Really Don't Need To Know Anymore.

I Wanted To Make A Living, But I Really Was Not Interested In Money At All. I Was Interested In Being A Great Comedian.

You Know Who Wears Sunglasses Inside? Blind People And Assholes.