I'm Not Catholic, But I Gave Up

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

For Some Reason, Religious Jokes Seem As Trivial As Jokes About Food Or Driving.

When I Wake Up In The Morning, I Just Can't Get Started Until I've Had That First, Piping Hot Pot Of Coffee. Oh, I've Tried Other Enemas.

My Dad Always Said, If Someone Hands You A Lemon, Make Lemonade. Plus That Also Works Wonderfully As A Metaphor.

I Go From Stool To Stool In Singles Bars Hoping To Get Lucky, But There's Never Any Gum Under Any Of Them.