I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About

I've Determined The Ideal Job For Me Is One Where I Can Write Clever Essays About My Life And My Employer Will Give Me Enough Money Not Only To Live A Comfortable Existence, But Also To Buy Many, Many New Pairs Of Shoes.

You Think You're So Cool Just Because You Can Walk!

When Did The Cell Phone Become A License To Be Rude? And Why Must I Be Subjected To Your Personal Conversations?

I'm Very Detail Oriented. I Think That's Why People Enjoy My Memoirs - Because I Tend To Remember Everything.

I Tried, It Was Hard, I Quit, The End. Story Of My Life.