I Think About Death. I Don't Want

I've Never Been Married, But I Tell People I'm Divorced So They Won't Think Something Is Wrong With Me.

I Have Always Put My Own Money Into Tails Of Joy. For Years, Every Time A Dog Walked By, My Husband Would Say, 'there Goes Our Beach House.'

You Know You're Getting Fat When You Step On The Dog's Tail And He Dies.

Designers Don't Put Out The Same Sweater Every Year. They Just Keep Creating.

A Study Last Year Showed That The Page You Turn To First In The Newspaper Can Be A Predictor Of How Long You Will Live. No Surprise, Turning First To The Comics Pages Prolongs Your Life.