I've Learned To Have Absolutely No Regrets

I Caused My Husband's Heart Attack. In The Middle Of Lovemaking I Took The Paper Bag Off My Head. He Dropped The Polaroid And Keeled Over And So Did The Hooker. It Would Have Taken Me Half An Hour To Untie Myself And Call The Paramedics, But Fortunately The Great Dane Could Dial.

You're College Graduates Now, So Use Your Education. Remember: It's Not Who You Know, It's Whom.

I'm Telling You That At Eight She Knew More About Reproduction Than Xerox.

Joan Collins Told A Reporter That She Hasn't Had Plastic Surgery; Come On... She's Had More Tucks Than A Motel Bedsheet!

The Thing Is, I'm Happiest When I'm On Stage.