I Was Walking Home One Night And

I Asked My Girlfriend, 'will You Marry Me?' She Said, 'we'll Have To Ask My Father.' So We Had A Seance And Jack Ruby Says, 'hello!'

I Think Fur Looks Better On An Animal Than On A Human Being. So I Dress My Dog In A Mink Teddy.

I Once Had A Large Gay Following, But I Ducked Into An Alleyway And Lost Him.

Interviewers Always Used To Ask Me About My Pageboy Haircut, And It Drove Me Nuts: It Almost Made Me Suspect That There Was Something Strange About It. So I Cut Off My Pageboy.

It's Amazing Where A Joke Might Come From. I Find A Lot Of Humour Just By Metaphorically Turning Things Upside Down Or Literally Like My Wife's Cat.