"i Wouldn't Go Over Here To Lisa

Yeah, I Read History. But It Doesn't Make You Nice. Hitler Read History, Too.

I Have To Tell You That It's Not Going To Be Easy. Take Every Chance And Every Opportunity That You Can. Don't Say 'i Can't' Or 'i Shouldn't' Or 'i'm Too Tired.'

Learn What Not To Expect. Irish Catholic They Get Sh**** Little Rings. Irish Women Get Crappy Rings. Baptist Get The Worst Because They Get The Rings Under Water. When It Comes Up, It's Garbage. Jewish, Big Rings. Episcopalian Big Rings. Italians-the Best, Because They Get Them Off Of Dead People, And Second Wives Get The Biggest Rings Of All.

Now, I'm Not Against Sex Before Marriage, But Two Minutes Before? When The Organist Played "here Comes The Bride".

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.