If The Grass Is Greener In The

To A Newspaperman, A Human Being Is An Item With Skin Wrapped Around It.

English Coffee Tastes Like Water That Has Been Squeezed Out Of A Wet Sleeve.

Television Is A Medium Because Anything Well Done Is Rare.

Vaudeville Could Not Vouch For The Honesty, The Integrity, Or The Mentality Of The Individuals Who Collectively Made Up The Horde The Medium Embraced. All The Human Race Demands Of Its Members Is That They Be Born. That Is All Vaudeville Demanded. You Just Had To Be Born. You Could Be Ignorant And Be A Star. You Could Be A Moron And Be Wealthy. The Elements That Went To Make Up Vaudeville Were Combed From The Jungles, The Four Corners Of The World, The Intelligentsia And The Subnormal.

A Gentleman Is Any Man Who Wouldn't Hit A Woman With His Hat On.