If Variety Is The Spice Of Life,

Happiness Is Sitting Down To Watch Some Slides Of Your Neighbor's Vacation And Finding Out That He Spent Two Weeks In A Nudist Colony.

I Think Students Ought To Have The Right To Protest, But Not To The Point Of Anarchy.

I'm An Entertainer; I Try To Give The Public What It Wants While I'm On The Screen, And I'm Completely Sincere About It. If I Don't Happen To Be A Laughing Boy Off The Screen, That Doesn't Make Me A Hypocrite Or A Phony.

I Don't Run With Anybody's Herd. I Don't Like Crowds. I Don't Like Going To Fancy Places. I Don't Like The Whole Nightclub Scene. Cocktail Parties Drive Me Mad. So I Do My Job And I Stay Away From The Rest Of It.

Your Chances Of Getting Hit By Lighting Go Up If You Stand Under A Tree, Shake Your Fist At The Sky, And Say "storms Suck!!