I Can Do More Than Just Stand-up

Here's How You Know That You're Really Drunk: When You Get Into A Taxi Cab And You Think The Fare Is The Time.

I'm Interested In Doing Anything And Everything That I Can To Squeeze The Creativity Out Of My Brain. I Guess I'm Kind Of A Performance Rat, That's What I Want To Do, I Love Being On Stage If I'm Not On A Set. I Just Love Putting Creativity Into A Performance.

A Couple Of Days Back, I Got Into A Car Accident. Not My Fault. Even If It's Not Your Fault, The Other Person Gets Out Of Their Car And Looks At You Like It's Your Fault: Why Did You Stop At A Red Light And Let Me Hit You Doing 80!

If You're Drunk Please Don't Drive. If You're On Shrooms Please Don't Think Walmart's A Prison For Bad Clothing That Needs Help Escaping.

When I'm Wrong I'm Like The Emperor On The Death Star Thinking He'll Turn Luke. Yet, When I'm Right I'm A Jedi Like My Father Before Me.