I Can Do More Than Just Stand-up

You Have To Have A Strong Sense Of Humor To Date Me, And Also Know That You're Probably Going To Be A Part Of The Routine Quite A Bit.

I Say It With My Tongue Firmly Planted In Cheek But There's Truth To It - Being A Comedian Is Very Close To Being A Therapist. When You're Working Smaller Clubs, You're Listening. You're Feeling An Energy, You're Going With A Tone But When People Start Yelling Out, You Almost Start A Conversation With People.

If You're Drunk Please Don't Drive. If You're On Shrooms Please Don't Think Walmart's A Prison For Bad Clothing That Needs Help Escaping.

I'm Willing To Write A Check For $10,000 If Someone Can Bring To Me What I Fell Is Ruining Thousands Of Lives, Destroying Lives Everyday. And I Know That You Know It's A Little Thing Called Chupacabra.

I Always Wanted To Be A Snake. Every Time I Saw A Snake On Tv. I'd Always Say 'why Not Me?'