In Our School You Were Searched For

Back In High School, My Buddies Tried To Put The Make On Anything That Moved. I Told Them, Why Limit Yourselves?

The Question Is Absurd: When You Ask, 'if God Is Both All Good And All Powerful, Why Then Does He Allow Suffering?', What You Are Really Asking Is, 'if God Is Both All Good And All Powerful, Why Then Can He Not Make Me (the Questioner) - Who Is Just As Much A Part Of A Universe In Which There Is Suffering As Is Any Other Part - Be At The Same Time The Exact Same Questioner, But One Who Is Now Part And Parcel Of A Universe In Which There Is No Suffering?' Which, Reduced Down, Is The Same Thing As Asking, 'why Can There Not Be, At The Same Time, X And The Preclusion Of X?'

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.

The Way I Understand It, The Russians Are Sort Of A Combination Of Evil And Incompetence... Sort Of Like The Post Office With Tanks.

When I Was A Kid My Parents Used To Tell Me, "emo, Don't Go Near The Cellar Door!" One Day When They Were Away, I Went Up To The Cellar Door. And I Pushed It And Walked Through And Saw Strange, Wonderful Things, Things I Had Never Seen Before, Like... Trees. Grass. Flowers. The Sun... That Was Nice... The Sun.