In Pizza Express You Can Get Garlic

It Had To Be Hammered Home Quite A Bit Because I Didn't See Any Humour In My Life At All.

In Pizza Express You Can Get Garlic Bread With Cheese And Tomato. Now Correct Me If I'm Wrong, But That's A Pizza.

But What's True About Comedians Is That We've All Got A Huge Hole In Our Personality. In A Room Of 3,000 People, We're The One Person Facing In The Opposite Direction - Yet We Have This Overwhelming Desire To Be Liked.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

I Go Around The Country And Do A Simple Gag Like, 'the Property Ladder Is Now A Snake' And Get A Real Laugh.