It's So Cold Here In Washington, D.c.,

Jimmy Stewart Could Have Been A Good Golfer, But He Speaks So Slowly That By The Time He Yells 'fore!' The Guy He's Hit Is Already In An Ambulance On The Way To The Hospital.

Pebble Beach Is Alcatraz With Grass.

I Was Called Rembrandt Hope In My Boxing Days, Because I Spent So Much Time On The Canvas.

If He Slices The Budget Like He Slices A Golf Ball, The Nation Has Nothing To Worry About.

If My Golf Game Was A Prize Fight, They'd Stop It.