Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.

My Mother Used To Rock Me - And She Used Big Rocks.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

What A Dog I Got, His Favorite Bone Is In My Arm.

My Wife Was Afraid Of The Dark. Then She Saw Me Naked, And Now She's Afraid Of The Light.

My Dog Learned How To Beg By Watching Me Through The Bedroom Door.