Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.

Comedy Is In My Blood. Too Bad It's Not In My Act.

A Girl Phoned Me The Other Day And Said... 'come On Over, There's Nobody Home.' I Went Over. Nobody Was Home.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. I Put My Hand In Some Cement And Felt Another Hand.

It's Lonely On The Top When There's No One On The Bottom.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.