My Mother Used To Rock Me -

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

I Once Met A Beautiful, Proper English Girl. I Bid Her Adieu.... She Bid Me A Don't.

I'm Taking Viagra And Drinking Prune Juice. I Don't Know If I'm Coming Or Going.

You Don't Know Who To Believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He Said All Men Were Created Equal. He Never Went To A Nude Beach.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Played Hide-and-seek. They Wouldn't Even Look For Me.