My Mother Used To Rock Me -

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.

My Mom Took Me To A Dog Show And I Won!!

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. Why, Every Time I Shut The Window I Hurt Somebody's Fingers.