Most Of My Teachers When I Grew

She Broke Up With Me. Didn't Really Tell Me Why. Luckily When You're The Guy, You Can Just Tell People She's Crazy. 'hey, Tom, I Heard You And Lucy Broke Up.' 'yeah, Man. Turns Out, She's Crazy.' That's What They Always Do On Entourage.

I Live In L.a., I Go On Tour All The Time, I'm In New York Half The Year - It's Very Hard To Be In A Relationship.

I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Food. I Like To Eat. When I Tour, It's Like, Well, Like A Food Tour As Much As A Comedy Tour.

You Can't Say Your Favorite Kind Of Cake Is Birthday Cake, That's Like Saying Your Favorite Kind Of Cereal Is Breakfast Cereal.

Sometimes You Gotta Work A Little, So You Can Ball A Lot.