My Only Thrill Is Self Inflicted Hickies.

She Was So Fat That Her Bathtub Has Stretch Marks.

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.

A Girl Phoned Me The Other Day And Said... 'come On Over, There's Nobody Home.' I Went Over. Nobody Was Home.

It Would Be Great If People Never Got Angry At Someone For Doing Something They've Done Themselves.

I Walked In On My Wife And The Milkman, The First Thing She Says Is "don't Tell The Butcher"!