My Parents Had Very Strict Rules For

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

What Is Eternity? You're On The Checkout Line At A Supermarket. There Are Seven People In Front Of You. They Are All Old. They All Have Two Carts And Coupons For Every Item. They Are All Paying By Check. None Of Them Have Id. It's The Checkout Girl's First Day On The Job. She Doesn't Speak Any English. Take Away Fifteen Minutes From That, And You Begin To Get An Idea Of What Eternity Is.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

I'm Not Catholic, But I Gave Up Picking My Belly Button For Lint.

I'm Not A Fatalist; Even If I Were, What Could I Do About It?