No More Botox For Me. Betty White's

At My Age An Affair Of The Heart Is A Bypass!

The Thing Is, I'm Happiest When I'm On Stage.

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

My Husband Wanted To Be Cremated. I Told Him I'd Scatter His Ashes At Neiman Marcus - That Way, I'd Visit Him Every Day.

Every Comedian Is Furious. Age Makes Me Angry. I'm Unhappy At Not Being Able To Open Packages Anymore. I'm Angry That Libraries Have Gone. I Hate Children On Planes. I'm Very Shallow, So They Tend To Be Little Things. To Be Honest, I Think I Was Probably Angry The Day I Was Born, You Know, About Diapers Or Something.