Now I Tell You The Downside Of

I Went To The University Of Life And Was Chucked Out.

I Could Have Been A Judge, But I Never Had The Latin For The Judgin'. I Never Had It, So I'd Had It, As Far As Being A Judge Was Concerned... I Would Much Prefer To Be A Judge Than A Coal Miner Because Of The Absence Of Falling Coal.

If There's One Thing I Can't Bear, It's When Hundreds Of Old Men Come Creeping In Through The Window In The Middle Of The Night And Throw All Manner Of Garbage Over Me. I Can't Bear That.

I Am Blind -- But I Am Able To Read Thanks To A Wonderful New System Known As 'broil' . . . I'm Sorry, I'll Just Feel That Again.

Playing Rugby At School I Once Fell On A Loose Ball And, Through Ignorance And Fear, Held On Despite A Fierce Pummelling. After That It Took Me Months To Convince My Team-mates I Was A Coward.