Old Age Is When You Resent The

When They Saw Me Walking Down The Street Smoking A Cigar, They'd Say, 'hey, That 14-year-old Kid May Be Going Places.' Of Course It's Also A Good Prop On The Stage ... When You Can't Think Of What You're Supposed To Say Next, You Can Puff On Your Cigar Until You Think Of Your Next Line.

I Smoke Cigars Because At My Age If I Don't Have Something To Hang On To I Might Fall Down.

It's Hard For Me To Get Used To These Changing Times. I Can Remember When The Air Was Clean And Sex Was Dirty.

Old Age Is When You Resent The Swimsuit Issue Of Sports Illustrated Because There Are Fewer Articles To Read.

Retire? I'm Going To Stay In Show Business Until I'm The Only One Left