The First Thing That Strikes A Visitor

Hanging Is Too Good For A Man Who Makes Puns; He Should Be Drawn And Quoted.

During The Samuel Johnson Days They Had Big Men Enjoying Small Talk; Today We Have Small Men Enjoying Big Talk.

I Don't Want To Own Anything That Won't Fit Into My Coffin.

An Actor's Popularity Is Fleeting. His Success Has The Life Expectancy Of A Small Boy Who Is About To Look Into A Gas Tank With A Lighted Match.

To A Newspaperman, A Human Being Is An Item With Skin Wrapped Around It.