The Heart Is A Temple Wherein All

I Don't Care What You Do For A Living. If You Love It, You Are A Success.

I Smoke Cigars Because At My Age If I Don't Have Something To Hang On To I Might Fall Down.

Lots Of People Have Asked Me What Gracie And I Did To Make Our Marriage Work. It's Simple - We Don't Do Anything. I Think The Trouble With A Lot Of People Is That They Work Too Hard At Staying Married. They Make A Business Out Of It. When You Work Too Hard At A Business You Get Tired; And When You Get Tired You Get Grouchy; And When You Get Grouchy You Start Fighting; And When You Start Fighting You're Out Of Business.

It Takes Only One Drink To Get Me Drunk. The Trouble Is, I Can't Remember If It's The Thirteenth Or The Fourteenth.

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.