When I'm Onstage, I'm Acting.

I Do Situations And Make Fun Of Authority And Life.

I Was Always The Guy - Out Of Insecurities, I Was Always Making Fun, Even As A Kid.

Famous People Are Deceptive. Deep Down, They're Just Regular People. Like Larry King. We've Been Friends For Forty Years. He's One Of The Few Guys I Know Who's Really Famous. One Minute He's Talking To The President On His Cell Phone, And Then The Next Minute He's Saying To Me, Do You Think We Ought To Give The Waiter Another Dollar?

No Matter Where You Go In This World, You Will Always Find A Jew Sitting In The Beach Chair Next To You.

I Have A Problem, If The Light Goes On On Tv And It Blinks Midnight, I Don't Know How To Fix It.