When I Thought I Was Retired, I

I Loved The Old Stories In National Lampoon, Like The Original Story The Movie Vacation Was Based On. I Used To Laugh At Them Until I Cried.

Like I Said, All Comedy Is Based On Exaggeration, Big Or Small, Whatever You Can Get Away With.

Oh, And Once, When I Was In The Marines, I Got A Perfect Score On My Physical Fitness Test.

Trust Me, Kids - Your Homework Can Wait. Don't Need To Be Doing Homework While Whose Line Is On; Skip It!

Boy, A Drive-through Liquor Store. God Bless America! A Place Where You Can Drive Through And Buy Whiskey, Beer... Just The Thing For That Drunk Driver Who's Constantly On The Go. Cant Stop Now! I've Got Places To Go, People To Hit!