Xm Radio Doesn't Have Commercials, So After

I'm Always On The Road, And I Drive Rental Cars. Sometimes I Don't Know What's Going On With The Car, And I'll Drive For Ten Miles With The Emergency Brake On. That Doesn't Say A Lot For Me, But It Doesn't Say A Lot For The Emergency Brake. What Kind Of Emergency Is This? I Need To Not Stop Now. It's Not Really An Emergency Brake, It's An Emergency Make-the-car-smell-funny Lever.

Dogs Are Forever In The Push Up Postion.

I Am Wearing A Vest. If I Had No Arms, It Would Be A Jacket.

I Have A Sharpie. I Love Sharpies. You Know What They Say On Them? Not For Letter Writing. That Sucks. Now I Have To Communicate With My Dad Using Numbers.

You Know Crazy Straws - They Go All Over The Place? These Straws Are Sane. They Never Lost Their Mind. They Say, "we're Going Straight To The Mouth. That Guy Who Takes A While To Get There? He's Crazy."