You Can't All Of A Sudden Go

The Best Thing About Being 45 Is Not Taking Myself So Seriously.

I Believe That I Have Such A Vanilla Life.

When I Hug Her, I Notice She's Still Wearing Yesterday's False Eyelashes. Mom? You Know Those Come Off With A Little Makeup Remover And A Cotton Pad?" I'm Not Taking Them Off." Why Not?" I Spent $180 On That Makeup Job And I Refuse To Wash My Face Until I Get My Money's Worth.

I Don't Care How Happily Married You Are Or How Deeply Enmeshed You Are With Your Children And Family And Career -- Every Woman Needs A Couple Of Chicks Who'll Break Out The Sangria Just Because You Need To Vent.

I’m Busy Sorting Through Our New Collection Of Rhinestone Jewelry. Should Anyone Be In The Market For Sparkly Accessories The Size Of A Hubcap, This Is The Place To Get Them. Earlier Today, A Customer Picked Up One Of The Enormous Chandelier-style Offerings And Asked, 'do Those Be Genuine Rhimestones?' I Couldn’t Even Begin To Explain Everything That Was Wrong With Her Sentence, So I Simply Replied, 'yes. They Do Be Genuine.