You Know You're Getting Fat When Your

You Save 15 More Minutes Of Sleep If You Are A Man And You Don't Have To Shave.

I Just Could Just Shave My Beard, And Nobody Would Recognize Me. Although I Look Like Jodie Foster.

My Real Last Name Is Galifianakisburg.

The Congressmen And Senators Used To Go Have A Drink In D.c. They Would Disagree All Day Long, But They Would Find That Time To Sit Down And Learn About Each Other Personally. I Think That's Totally Wiped Out; I Don't Think It Really Exists Anymore.

I'm An American So Its Kind Of Hard For Me To Talk About 9/11. So Whenever Someone Brings It Up In A Conversation, I Say "i Didn't Like 9/11."