I Did Stand-up Comedy For Seventeen Years.

I'm Watching Some Television Tonight. I'm Watching The Discovery Channel. You Know, This Channel, You Never Ever Plan On Watching This. It Just Happens. You're Flickin' Around, All Of A Sudden - Boom - You're Watching A Mole For An Hour-and-a-half.

I Can't Relate To The Idea Of Suicide. I Guess I'm Just One Of Those People That Is Always Optimistic And Upbeat. But One Day, I Sat Down. I Said 'you Know What? Just To Kind Of Purge Myself, I Want To See What Its Like To Feel That Low'. So I Decided To Write A Suicide Note. Yeah, Just To Kinda Flush It Out There And Put It On A Page. And I Started To Do This, And I Had An Epiphany. I'll Share This With You: A Suicide Note That Is Written By Somebody That Is Not Suicidal Is Called An Autobiography. I Am On Chapter 58.

I'm Sure That People Who Have Been Tweeting Funny Things Have Ended Up On Writing Staffs Of A Late Night Show.

Losing My Mind Sounds So Pessimistic. I Prefer The Term Winning My Insanity.

I Want To Be Able To Challenge Myself. And Do Things That Are Away From What I Usually Do. Stand-up Is Safe For Me. I Can Do Stand-up In Front Of Twenty-five Thousand People, And I'm Like, "i Know How To Do This. This Is What I Do." I Want To Be A Little Scared.