I Like To Play Chess With Bald

People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?' Well, I Don't Have An Alibi.

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

I Used To Think That The Brain Was The Most Wonderful Organ In My Body. Then I Realized Who Was Telling Me This.

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.

The American Government Is Making Nuclear Weapons Like There's No Tomorrow.