I Play A Musical Instrument A Little,

Vaudeville Could Not Vouch For The Honesty, The Integrity, Or The Mentality Of The Individuals Who Collectively Made Up The Horde The Medium Embraced. All The Human Race Demands Of Its Members Is That They Be Born. That Is All Vaudeville Demanded. You Just Had To Be Born. You Could Be Ignorant And Be A Star. You Could Be A Moron And Be Wealthy. The Elements That Went To Make Up Vaudeville Were Combed From The Jungles, The Four Corners Of The World, The Intelligentsia And The Subnormal.

Television Is A Triumph Of Equipment Over People.

He Was So Narrow Minded That If He Fell On A Pin It Would Blind Him In Both Eyes.

My Hometown Was So Dull That One Time The Tide Went Out And Never Came Back.

My Father Never Raised His Hand To Any One Of His Children, Except In Self-defense.