If It's Dirty, It's Not Funny, But

I Have The Gift Of Laughter. I Can Make People Laugh At Will. In Good Times And In Bad. And That I Don't Question. It Was A Gift From God.

A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm Tangent To The Circle.

Once When I Was Golfing In Georgia, I Hooked The Ball Into The Swamp. I Went In After It And Found An Alligator Wearing A Shirt With A Picture Of A Little Golfer On It.

Your Financial Cost Can Best Be Figured Out When You Realize That If You Were To Devote The Same Time And Energy To Business Instead Of Gold, You Would Be A Millionaire In Approximately Six Weeks.

At The Sahara, The Seats Are Banked And Most Of The Audience Is Looking Down At The Stage. Everybody In The Business Knows: Up For Singers, Down For Comics. The People Want To Idealize A Singer. They Want To Feel Superior To A Comic. You're Trying To Make Them Laugh. They Can't Laugh At Someone They're Looking Up To.